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پنجشنبه، تیر ۲۴، ۱۳۸۹

[Silver Lake] ADULT JOKES

 


 
ADULT JOKES 
 
 
 

1.The more you rub it, the bigger it gets

 

One day when the teacher walked to the blackboard, she noticed someone had written the word 'PENIS' in tiny letters. She turned around and scanned the class looking for a guily face. Finding none, she quickly erased it and began class.

 

The next day, she went into the room, she noticed in large letters the word 'PENIS' again; this time written about halfway across the board. Again she looked around in vain for the culprit, so she proceeded with the day's lesson.

 

Every morning for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board, each day's larger than the previous one.

 

Finally one day, she walked in expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board but instead found the words: 'The more you rub it, the bigger it gets.'

 

2.The appointment

 

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm.

 

The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.' The Husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep.

 

A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear, 'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'

 

3.Lund katwa laayi

 

There used to be a time when men and women didn't know about each other's body parts.

 

Once a couple got married. For first night, wife's mother advised her to sleep with bare chest. When she did that, the husband got worried and asked said to her wife,'Oye, yeh kya chaale nikal aye hain tere. Kal jaa kar katwaan ayen'

 

When the wife contacted her mother, she then advised her to sleep without your shalwar. This night, husband got infuriated and said,'Maine tujhe yeh chaale katwaane ke liye kaha tha aur TU apna Lund katwaa layi.'

 

4.Sex-goli

 

A hawker is selling a sex-goli. He shouts on the streets:

 

Ek goli lega to lamba hoga!
Do lega to khamba hoga!
Teen lega to...

 

Suddenly a prostitute overhears and says:
Abey bhadve! Chodna hai ki khodna hai???

 

5.The new couple

 

Santa Singh noticed that a new couple had moved into the house next door. He also noticed that the woman was extremely beautiful with very generous breasts!

 

Santa tried hard peeking thru window to try and see the woman naked, but he never got his chance.

 

Finally he could stand it no more and walked to the neighbor's house and knocked.

 

The husband, a large, burly man, opened the door.

 

'Excuse me,' Santa Singh stammered, 'But I couldn't help noticing how beautiful your wife is. And in particular, her breasts are just wonderful. I would gladly pay you fifty thousand rupees if I could kiss those breasts.'

 

The burly gorilla is about to hit Santa when his wife appears and stops him. She pulls him inside and they discuss the offer for a few moments. Finally, they return and the husband says, 'Okay, for fifty thousand rupees you can kiss my wife's tits.'

 

At this, the wife unbuttons her blouse, and the twin objects of desire hang free at last. The man takes one in each hand, and proceeds to rub his face against them in total ecstasy. This goes on for several minutes, until the husband gets annoyed. 'Well, come on already, kiss them!' he growls.

 

'I can't,' replies Santa Singh, still nuzzling away.

 

'Why not?' demands the husband, getting really angry now.

 

'I don't have fifty thousand rupees!' and walks away happy!

 

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